At first it was cute, but I've reached my saturation level for bare buns of the non-matrimonial type. Apparently the invention of safety pins has not yet made it to China's shores. That's all it would take to remedy this situation. Instead, parents just lay a rectangular cloth between their child's legs and hope their split leg pants hold it in place. They don't. We were at the police station getting our visas renewed and a boy's diaper fell out, and the father felt no need to replace it. The advantage of these split leg pants is that parents save a lot of money on diapers and don't have to stress over potty training. You see, when your child is a little older, you don't switch over to underwear, they just go commando. So if your child has to go the bathroom, you just stop in the middle of the sidewalk and tell him or her to squat. Why would you find a bush to hide behind or use one of the public restrooms that can be found every 100 yards? Only when men are older, do they have to learn to operate a zipper so they can uphold the tradition of public urination. Again, on the sidewalk in plain view. A little modesty please!
So I needed to mail a package back to the States last week, and I'd already mailed some letters, so I thought this would be simple. Wrong. The China Post staffer asked "Land or Air?" Air. "EMS?" Yes, EMS. Then nothing. The last time I was in, the EMS (Chinese FedEx) guy was there picking up packages, so I knew I was in the right place. But they didn't seem to have the forms or anything. So they opened up my package to inspect the contents. Progress. Then nothing. Why ask me if I want to send it EMS, if they are unable to do so? Luckily the EMS guy came in to pick up packages waiting for him (so how did all the others get the paperwork??). Through mime, I determined I was to go with the EMS delivery man. Know that I have no cell phone, don't have Brian's number memorized if I was able to escape to a phone, and HBO has been showing "Taken" on repeat for the last two weeks. The guy seems friendly enough, but now I'm paying attention to every turn we make so I can get back to where I started from, because I'm supposed to meet Brian for dinner in twenty minutes (so at least it won't be long before he realizes I've been abducted) and envision Mr. EMS driving me two hours to Shanghai to mail the package. In the end, he takes me to a sorting facility that clearly isn't open to the public, fills out the paperwork for me, and gives me change from his own wallet. So where the heck am I supposed to drop packages off in the future? In the end, Liam Neeson didn't need to rescue me and the package has safely arrived in the States. Thank goodness Brian and I are starting Chinese lessons Tuesdays and Thursdays! I'm sure the teacher will have lesson plans, but I'll also have lots of questions based on experiences I've had to bumble through so far!
Lastly, a photo in honor of my dad's upcoming retirement from his veterinary practice:
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