On the flight back to Shanghai we were seated behind roughly 4-year old twins, their mom, and grandparents. The disinterested father was across the aisle from me. Mid-diaper change, one of the girls announced she had to go to the bathroom. So rather than slapping the old diaper back between her legs and hustling to the loo, grandma stands her up on her lap, and has her pee in to the cup from dinner service. Talk about having blind faith in the aim of a 4-year old! Can you imagine being the flight attendant on the receiving end of that cup on your next garbage run down the aisle? No? Not to worry, you don’t have to, because as Grandma stands up and goes to walk it back to the flight attendant, she bumps into her seat and spills it....on the father sitting across from me! Poor dad, who was just minding his own business, valiantly ignoring his kids, trying to enjoy a book during a fleeting moment of silence when they aren’t flying through the air jumping seat to seat, and he’s interrupted by a cup of pee dumped in his lap! (Leslie bets the disgruntled mom probably pushed the grandma in his direction!) Amazingly, he just casually brushed a few not yet absorbed droplets off his pants and went back to reading as if he didn't even realize what had just been poured all over him. Be assured, had the cup landed in MY lap, there would have been a significantly different reaction!
P.S. To Gerard Depardieu: you're most welcome. We bequeath this oui oui tall tale to you and look forward to your attempts to use it as a plausible cover story the next time you fly.
P.P.S. Two weeks ago, I would have laughed at this. Now it just makes me cringe.
One Year Ago:
Thanks Dad!
You win, that is the top tale I have heard of a flight event. One of my funniest stories is one we call Chilly Pirate. I had the experience of sitting next to a young boy. His mother a few seats over with two more younger boys was already totally overwhelmed with those two.
ReplyDeleteSo being a mother myself I had some sympathy for her and decided to endure with patience the "play" of the one next to me. He had a glass of ice water and he was dipping a toy in and out of it each time getting me wetter and wetter. It was quite a ways into the flight when I realized he had a toy pirate and he was dipping him in water and calling him a chilly pirate.
but alas it was much better being splashed with water than with urine.
I can imagine that was irritating! As horrifying as this was, at least neither of us got wet! I think we, especially Brian, can sit thru any unbearable flight now. What could possibly compare!?!
DeleteI think the story is even better when told from Brian's point of view. Seriously, urine in a cup? That is NOT OK.
ReplyDeleteI know! I so wish I had been awake and witnessed this with my own two eyes! Although Brian's horrified retelling as soon as I woke up was pretty entertaining!
DeleteOh Brian, you surely find the funny stories in life to retell to us all. Wonder what it will be like when parenthood arrives at your doorstep? We'll all watch, with amusement, from our "fly on the wall" spot. Parenting can be humbling, trust me, but well worth it too.
ReplyDeleteNow, maybe you'll believe me when I say you shouldn't go the bargain route where your plane ticket is concerned. it can be awash if not careful! Ha! Ha! Take care, Mum
Awesome.
ReplyDeleteIs that a real cup? Love Kristin :)
ReplyDeleteHorrifyingly, it is!!!
DeleteGood post.. well i am loving this cup!
ReplyDeleteThis is a new one. It was bound to happen - I finally got peed on on the bus a few weeks ago but this airplane story is a bit out of control. Even after living here for a while now I still can't believe what I see sometimes. :-) Gotta love it!
ReplyDeleteHi Joy! Glad you found your way to Ovenless. At least it didn't get spilled on us--I can't believe you got peed on on the bus! My parents are actually visiting now for the first time--fun to see them react to the craziness that now seems so normal to us.
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