Chinese Potpourri

I've been keeping a list of things I wanted to write about here on Ovenless, but none of them were long enough to stretch in to an entire post. So here's a smattering of memorable moments....


Stella on a huge explosion of fireworks in our apartment complex: "Someone's dead or getting married. You need those for both."
She said this so deadpan, it struck me as hilarious.

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The members of the CSL Tai Tai Club have joined a gym for a whopping $12 a month. I bet your gym doesn't have this:

That's right. A smoking lounge in the lobby for those who want to wheeze a bit more on the treadmill.

Jealous much? I didn't think so. The other tai tais both smoke and even they find this ridiculous.

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I've learned you can't cook coffee cake in a cheapo countertop oven. It will just froth and boil over. This is a photo AFTER Brian scooped out mounds of batter from the bottom.

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I made my first phone call spoken entirely in Chinese! Granted, it was brief, but after practicing with Stella, I picked up the phone and said:

为。 你 号。 我 要 两 通水。 我 家 在 丽都 城市 花园 一百零八 庄 二零三。再 说 一边？等 一 下。

Okay, then yes, I handed the phone to Stella because the woman asked a question and after asking her to repeat it, my brain turned off. Idiot me--all she was trying to do was repeat what I said to confirm my order, with just a few too many new words thrown in. When she repeated it again to Stella, she had my order exactly right! I consider it a successful phone call!

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Sunday night we took Stella to Turkish Delight, our favorite restaurant in town. (I should take photos next time--life changing lamb chops and hummus!) Afterwords, I put my life in her hands.

While I don't think twice about riding with my dad on his Harley (with helmets!), I was really nervous to hop on considering the insane driving we've observed here. Luckily, it was just a short trip in light traffic and I live to blog another day. I know you're all relieved.

The soup that wasn't meant to be

Mexican food (read Mexico Lindo in Melrose, MA) is the one thing we really crave here in Jiangyin. So I'd planned on making a Chinese version of my aunt's oh-so-yummy chicken tortilla soup yesterday.

Cue stovetop meltdown.

I now know if you remove the 1" strip underneath the stovetop and reach your arm waaaay in, there is a battery that powers the ignitor.

This was not the problem.

Cue call to repairman.

Thank goodness I was spending the afternoon with my Chinese teacher, so she could translate. The top of the stove needed to be removed.

Cue grinder and sparks to show a stubborn screw who's boss. Counters were now covered in metal dust.

Cue cuts on every finger from washing the jagged stovetop once it was removed and being thankful for the 500 shots I got before moving to China.

After nearly 90 minutes and several attempts to fix the stove, the entire igniter is replaced.

This was the problem.

Cue real life application of Chinese lessons!

For a mere 八十快 ($12.31) the repairmen is on his way, telling me he'll swing by at 六 点 (6pm) with a 发票 (receipt) because 我 现在 没有一张 (he didn't have one now) but he has another service appointment 在 丽都 城市花园 (at our complex) then.

Cue commencement of soupery.

Cue dumping of almost entire costco-sized chili powder container in to soup and blessing of said Chinese manufactured lid.

This was a problem.

Cue dinner that causes hot flashes in spite
of best efforts to save the soup.

Look at me, mom!

The silver lining? I'd been neglecting my sourdough starter for several days thinking it had petered out. But with the unplanned sprinkling of metallic dust it now looks better than ever.

Is this a problem?

A knitwit abroad

I came to China with a stash of yarn big enough to complete several projects--plenty to keep me busy for months I thought. Well, without a 9-5 job, it lasted all of about 6 weeks. So I've had fun exploring the indoor flea markets of Jiangyin in search of yarn. So far I've found 5 or 6 different yarn "stalls," the one in the photo below being the largest so far. This past weekend I was actually able to say how many skeins and what colors I needed in Chinese! And be understood! (Thus another upswing on the learning-Chinese-is-fun-versus-impossible roller coaster.)

While they don't have any of the luxurious yarns I'd drool over back in the States, they sure do use some interesting fibers: ferret, marten, and even CORN! And wow, the prices are absolutely unbeatable! But then there are the knitting needles--most of the needles I brought with me are stamped "Made in China." Yet if I want to buy needles here, it's about the equivalent of going out and breaking a twig off a tree and peeling the bark off of it--just a tad bit warped and snaggy.

My current local stash--apparently I'm in a bit of a color rut!

Holy Shi!

We had another Chinese lesson tonight and we are both brain dead. The lesson was about asking/getting/giving directions. Holy bizarre word order Batman! Plus the fact that that (na4), which (na3), and where (nar3) all sound similar. Or how about three very different meanings for zuo4, and throw in zuo3 and zou3 for good measure! Shi is another word that has only 4 pronounciations, but seemingly infinite meanings. The Mandarin character for each "shi" is unique, so reading is one thing, listening however.... Which brings me to the following story (thanks Amanda!): Shī Shì shí shī shǐ  Shíshì shīshì Shī Shì, shì shī, shì shí shí shī. Shì shíshí shì shì shì shī. Shí shí, shì shí shī shì shì. Shì shí, shì Shī Shì shì shì. Shì shì shì shí shī, shì shǐ shì, shǐ shì shí shī shìshì. Shì shí shì shí shī shī, shì shíshì. Shíshì shī, Shì shǐ shì shì shíshì. Shíshì shì, Shì shǐ shì shí shì shí shī. Shí shí, shǐ shí shì shí shī, shí shí shí shī shī. Shì shì shì shì.            The Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den

In a stone den was a poet called Shi, who was a lion addict, and had resolved to eat ten.

He often went to the market to look for lions.

At ten o'clock, ten lions had just arrived at the market.

At that time, Shi had just arrived at the market.

He saw those ten lions, and using his trusty arrows, caused the ten lions to die.

He brought the corpses of the ten lions to the stone den.

The stone den was damp. He asked his servants to wipe it.

After the stone den was wiped, he tried to eat those ten lions.

When he ate, he realized that these ten lions were in fact ten stone lion corpses.

Try to explain this matter. 

Holy shi, what have we gotten ourselves into?

Much clearer, no?

Wo3 xue4xi4 Han4yu3!

First and foremost, fame and glory belong to Celia for correctly naming both mystery fruits (mangosteen and rambutan) in the latest installment of Food Fight.  Celia, I looked into mail ordering you some, but I'll admit the cost was prohibitive. From now on, I'll be posting cheap and readily available mystery foods!

So we've been taking Chinese lessons for about 6 weeks now, and I'm really enjoying it! It's amazing how empowering it is when the taxi drivers and store clerks understand what you're saying! Of course, a 2 year old probably has a bigger vocabulary than me, but at least I'm not getting blank stares all the time! Our first two months we collected business cards from all the restaurants and shops we liked, so we could show them to the cab drivers. No more! It's qu4 bu4xing2 jie1 and zai4 zher4 ting2 or bust! Alot of "this is X" and "that is Y" interspersed with a healthy dose of "I don't speak very well" (we can say this VERY well) and "please repeat that." My latest triumph was finding a twin size memory foam mattress topper for our rock hard mattress and being about to say "Excuse me. This is too small. I want big."  And having the clerk understand and telling me the price for the right size--$300!! ridiculous! We plan to stop by Costco in Australia in July and come back with one for a fraction of the cost. 

The best part is that our teacher wants to improve her English, so on top of 2 lessons a week, she and I are now getting together 1-2 times a week to practice speaking in Chinese and English. She's hoping to take the TOEFL and wants to improve her  already impressive vocabulary (I doubt I'll ever need to know puckish and primoridal in Chinese!) and in exchange is helping me practice Chinese and showing me more of Jiangyin off the beaten path. We're going to lunch on Friday--she asked what I liked, and I told her, "if you like it, I'll try it." Here's hoping I don't live to regret those words!